2 AM Applesauce
by Isabel5
Summary: Chlollie One-shot. Chloe is very pregnant, Oliver is very confused, and she hasn't even told him the best part.


"The books say it's called nesting." AC grunted as he raised his end of the couch.

"Yeah well the books also say that it's supposed to happen around five months." Oliver lifted his end of the couch.

"To the left." Chloe called from her perch on the stool at the kitchen bar. "Under the window." They both turned to look at Chloe who was most certainly not five months pregnant. At this point she looked about fifteen months pregnant. She'd called everyone over this morning because she had the sudden urge to completely rearrange the house and it had to happen now, right that minute, before the baby got there. Unfortunately there was a mudslide in Ecuador and Clark had flown off to do his thing, leaving Oliver and AC with the heavy lifting.

"Some of the books say that nesting actually could be a sign of the onset of labor." Bart called from his perch on the ladder above them as he hung the new curtains.

"Oh God, one can only hope. I actually went to Mass this morning and prayed for her water to break." Oliver dropped the couch under the window and stood up, his back creaking. "I think I've rearranged every room in this house five times over and she's been driving me crazy ever since the doctor put her under house arrest."

"I thought he put her on bed rest." Victor said.

"She says it's the same thing." Oliver smirked and AC laughed.

"That's because it is the same thing." Chloe called out to them annoyed. "I don't know why you guys just don't put one of those tracking anklets on me and have it done with."

"We've been considering it." Oliver kissed her cheek. "You're not supposed to be out of the bedroom but being the magnanimous husband that I am, I carried you-"

"Clark carried me." Chloe smirked up at him. "You stopped being able to carry me about three months ago."

"I had you carried all the way into the living room so you wouldn't get bored and lonely." He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, opened it and handed it to her.

"I'm tired of water." Chloe complained but took the bottle from him anyway.

"Doc says you need to stay hydrated." Oliver reminded her. Chloe was going on three weeks past her due date and the Doctor was hesitant to induce labor, wanted it to happen naturally. The problem was with Chloe's slight frame and the fact that the baby had apparently inherited her father's long legs, so she was put on bed rest two months ago and told to make sure to stay hydrated.

"It's counter productive." Chloe reminded him. "The more I drink, the more I have to pee, the less I'm off my feet."

"Drink it." Oliver said firmly remembering the day, earlier into her pregnancy that Chloe had to be admitted to the hospital for dehydration. The problem was that before she got pregnant she just drank coffee all the time but since that was no longer an option, she pretty much just forgot to drink anything. The sight of his pregnant wife with an IV hooked up to her arm was definitely something Oliver didn't want to see again. He waited until she took a sip before he walked back over where the couch used to be to move the end tables.

"By the way you do know that I'm pregnant which does not make me deaf. I can hear you over here, you're not that far away from me."

"I'm also not whispering." Oliver called back to her. "Chloe." Oliver paused and bent down to pick something up and then turned around to face her. "What is this?"

Chloe froze with the bottle halfway to her lips and stared at the large stack of little plastic cups in his hand, about a dozen of them. "Huh?" Chloe set the bottle on the counter. "What?"

"I found them under the couch, or where the couch used to be." Oliver stepped forward and set them on the bar and Chloe stared at them accusingly, as if they had just spilled one of her deepest darkest secrets, which they kind of hand. "What is this?" Oliver asked her again.

"Ok, so." Chloe pulled herself off of the barstool. "Ok." At this point everyone was looking at Chloe, curiosity on their faces. Chloe tilted her head and sighed. "So you know how sometimes you wake up at 2 in the morning and you just need some Applesauce?"

Oliver stared at his wife for a minute, never before had he been more speechless. He turned to Lois to make sure that he hadn't heard that wrong, by the look on her face, he hadn't. "No, no, I don't, I've never had that particular…need."

Chloe narrowed her eyes at him and put her hands on her hips. "Ok then, so sometimes _I_ wake up at 2 in the morning and need some Applesauce." Oliver nodded. Now that she'd said that he realized what those little plastic cups were, the individual Applesauce snack packs that Oliver had been buying like crazy since Chloe hit about month five of her pregnancy. One look in their pantry and you would think that was all they ate; the thing is Oliver had never actually seen her eat any.

"You wake up at 2 in the morning and you _need _Applesauce?" Lois asked her confused.

"Yes." Chloe said as if that were something perfectly normal and Lois was the abnormal one for suggesting otherwise.

"Ok, so you have 2 a.m. Applesauce cravings." Oliver tried to steer the conversation back on track. She'd had much stranger cravings at much stranger times the past nine months, so that wasn't the part that bothered him. "How does that lead to a stash of empty applesauce cups under the couch?"

"Well they're not all applesauce." Chloe said, trying to defend herself. "Some of them are pudding cups."

"You have 2 a.m. Applesauce and Pudding cravings?"

"I can see that." Bart nodded. "Because the Applesauce is kind of fruity so when you finish that you're in the mood for chocolate. It totally makes sense." Chloe beamed at him and he winked back at her.

"Again, how did they get under the couch?" Oliver interrupted.

"So like Bart said, I start off with the Applesauce right and that's pretty fruity so then I need something more sweet." Chloe explained.

"The pudding." Lois supplied for her.

"Exactly." Chloe said. "But see I get the Applesauce go to the couch to eat it, then go back for the Pudding, go to the couch and eat it, and the fourth floor board from the door still squeaks when you step on it." She spares a passing glare at her husband. "And I know that Oliver can sleep through four squeaks but he wakes up after five and I'm too big to skip over it so instead of risking waking him up to throw them away I just sort of stuff them under the couch and then go back to bed. Normally I pick them up and throw them away in the morning but you guys are watching me like a hawk."

"Why didn't you just take them both at the same time?" Victor sat down and looked at her.

"What?" Chloe frowned, losing her train of thought.

"Well you knew you were going to want the pudding after the applesauce, why don't you just take both of them at the same time." Victor said. He started to lose his nerve though as Chloe looked at him like he was the biggest idiot on the face of the earth, which he basically was in trying to force logic on a pregnant woman.

"I tried that once, but I like to take my time with the Applesauce and by the time I finish the pudding is warm and I just really don't like warm pudding." Chloe told him.

"Why didn't you just throw it away in the bathroom?" Bart asked.

"I don't understand why you had to be so secretive about it." AC shook his head.

"She's being secretive about it because she's not supposed to be out of bed in the middle of the night, she's not supposed to be out of bed period." Oliver pointed out.

"I mean hiding empty Applesauce containers under the couch is weirder than eating Applesauce at 2 a.m. but only marginally." AC continued.

"I'm still a little hung up on the Applesauce at 2 a.m. thing actually." Lois shook her head.

They all talked over each other, over Chloe, about Chloe and she just burst into tears. All talking immediately stopped and everyone's attention was transferred to Chloe as big fat sobs wracked her body. "I just wanted some Applesauce." Chloe gasped through her tears. "And I know I'm not supposed to be out of bed and I know I shouldn't have kept it a secret." She sucked in a deep breath. "It's just, look at me, I'm huge. I haven't been able to wear shoes in five months because my feet are so swollen and I don't remember the last time I saw my own knees. Nothing fits me, not even maternity clothes and I feel like a completely utterly useless whale. The last thing I wanted was for my husband to wake up in the middle of the night and see me wolfing down applesauce like some crazed pregnant lady."

"But you are a crazed pregnant lady." Oliver smiled at her amused. She stared at him for a second in shock, which was good. He was going for a laugh, trying to take her off guard but it backfired on him, horribly as she simply started sobbing harder.

"Honey." Oliver reached forward and pulled her into a hug, resting his chin on her forehead. "You're not just a crazed pregnant lady, you're my crazed pregnant lady, you're my beautiful crazed pregnant lady and I honestly wouldn't want you any other way."

Chloe's sobs slowed and she pulled away to look up at him. "Really?" She wiped her eyes and sniffed.

"Chloe." Oliver grabbed her face with both hands and forced her to look at him, to really look at him. "You are my wife and you are carrying my daughter in there." He nodded down to her very large belly. "And every day I wake up and look at you and think that you are absolutely the most beautiful thing in the world and I smile because you're mine and I get to wake up and look at you every morning for the rest of my life." Chloe smiled and leaned into his touch. "And then I'll get to go into the nursery and look at the second most beautiful thing in the world."

"Second and third." Chloe whispered and Oliver stepped back to look at her.

"What?" He dropped his arms.

"You get to go into the nursery and look at the second and third most beautiful things in the world." Chloe bit her bottom lip.

"I don't understand." Oliver shook his head.

"The reason that I'm so much larger than normal, the reason why I'm on bed rest is because I'm not just having a baby, I'm having two babies." Chloe admitted.

"Two?" Oliver asked in shock.

"Yes." Chloe laughed at him.

"But you didn't…you never said…how long have you known?" Oliver stumbled backward until he hit the living room chair and silently thanked God that they hadn't gotten around to moving that yet.

"Since the third month." Chloe admits.

"You've known for six months, six months you've known about the twins and you never…oh God we're having twins." Oliver started to hyperventilate.

"Head between your knees." Chloe waddled over to him and laid a cooling hand on the back of his neck as he followed her advice and slipped his head between his knees. "Good, now just breathe."

Chloe looked up and noticed that all eyes in the room were on her, staring at her in disbelief. "Yeah so…sorry I didn't tell you guys." She winced and they all started yelling at her again.

"Can't believe you didn't tell us." Victor glared at her.

"Twins? As in two babies?" Bart gaped. "As in two whole babies instead of one."

"How did you keep this from us? From all of us for so long?" AC asked.

"Because she's sneaky, sneaky like a sneaky pregnant…sneaky thing." Lois glared at her.

"Hey." Chloe screamed and when that had no effect she stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled. Everyone was quiet instantly. "Oh, wow, that works better than the crying." Bart opened his mouth and Chloe winked at him quickly. "When I first found out, I wanted to tell you guys, I really did. But then you guys started acting all strange, you wouldn't let me carry anything, you wouldn't let me drive, you barely let me ride in a car. You hovered around me like I was made of very fragile glass and basically you annoyed the shit out of me. I just thought, if I told you there were twins you would be even worse, you'd probably lock me up in the house for the rest of the pregnancy so I just…didn't."

"You just didn't tell us?" Lois asked. "For six months you kept this huge secret from us? How?"

"In case you haven't noticed I'm pretty good at keeping secrets." Chloe pointed out, her fingers still rubbing gently on the back of Oliver's neck. "But now I'm on bed rest anyway and at some point, sooner rather than later, these babies are going to be here and the nursery is only set up for one so I figured now would be a good time as any to let you guys know." Oliver made a noise in the back of his throat. "You doing ok there honey?" Chloe looked down at him.

He lifted his head up, Chloe's fingers resting reassuringly at the nape of his neck, sliding into his hair. "Twins?" He smiled crookedly at her.

"Two for the price of one." Chloe said. "Well that's not true, it's actually going to be twice as expensive but…"

His hands reached out and slid along the length of her pregnant belly, gently, reverently. "Boy or girl?"

"Boy." Chloe smiled.

"I'm going to have a son." Oliver looked over Chloe's shoulder at the guys and smiled even bigger. "Wait, we didn't look at any boy names."

"I've been thinking maybe Robert." Chloe offered. "Robbie Queen."

Oliver swallowed hard and nodded. "I'd like that." Chloe leaned down and placed a small kiss on Oliver's forehead. "OK, so we've got a lot of work to do." Oliver jumped up. "We need another crib, another car seat, you know what, probably just two of everything." He grabbed his jacket and headed to the door, assuming that the others would follow him. "He's got no clothes, he got no toys…" Oliver turned to Chloe. "You know how earlier today I was praying you'd go into labor. I take it back, we've got a lot of work to do so keep them in there ok?"

"If I feel even an inkling of labor pains, I'll cross my legs really tight." Chloe promised him.

"Good." Oliver kissed her forehead and walked to the door. He stopped, turned, and walked back to Chloe. He slid his hands into her hair and pulled her closer, pressing his lips against hers, hard and kissing her so deep she felt it down in her toes.

"What was that for?" Chloe whispered, slightly dazed.

"You know. Twins." He shrugged, leaned down and kissed her belly twice before heading back for the door.

AC and Victor followed Oliver to the door, giving Chloe a quick kiss before leaving but Bart stopped and slid an arm over her shoulder and leaned their foreheads together. "So the whistling works better than the crying?" Chloe opened her mouth to explain and Bart smiled. "Those were fake tears earlier weren't they?" Chloe just shrugged. "You planned this whole thing out didn't you? I mean what better way to drop a bomb like the fact that you've secretly been hiding twins than by getting us to drop our guard first."

"I didn't actually plan the whole thing, I just saw an opportunity and sort of jumped on it." Chloe said unashamed.

"You are the master." Bart pulled away from her. "I bow down to you." He actually bowed.

"Bart, double time, which for you is like double double time so I expect you to beat us to the store." Oliver called from the front hall. Bart winked and was gone in a flash.

"So what now?" Lois asked.

"What do you think?" Chloe raised her eyebrows.

Thirty minutes later they were sitting on the couch six empty applesauce containers between them. "That was good." Lois said pulling the spoon out of her mouth. "But now, I kinda want…"

"Some chocolate." Chloe nodded pulling herself up. "Way ahead of you." She said on the way to the kitchen for some pudding cups.

"Oh wait." Lois scooped up the empty applesauce cups and held them out. Chloe stopped, she really didn't want to have to walk back to the couch and then back to the kitchen. "Never mind, I got it." Lois said and she bent over and slid the cups under the couch. "Huh." Lois smiled. "That's going to come in handy."

"I know right." Chloe smiled, pulled a pudding cup out of the fridge and tossed it across the room. Lois caught it one handed.

"You know what? I think I need to get pregnant, then I can sit on the couch all day long and eat Applesauce and Chocolate pudding."

"Yeah." Chloe dropped her pudding cup on the counter and leaned over. "Yeah, it's the life alright." She grunted.

Lois looked over at her confused and set her pudding cup on the coffee table. "You ok?"

"Yeah, no, I'm fine. It's just I think my water just broke." Chloe gasped and was hit with a sudden labor pain.

"Oh crap, oh shit." Lois jumped off the couch and ran to Chloe. "Ok, what am I supposed to do?"

"Maybe drive me to the hospital?" Chloe smiled at her encouragingly. "My bag is just inside my bedroom door."

"Right." Lois nodded. "Ok, just cross your legs."

"You know that doesn't actually work right?" Chloe panted.

"It can't hurt though can it?" Lois asked.

"Hey." Chloe said, taking a deep breath. "You know what they have at the hospital?" Lois walked back out with the bag on one arm and her phone in the other, dialing Oliver's number.

"What?" Lois asked. "Qualified doctors who are so much better at birthing babies than Award winning reporters? Please don't have the babies in my car." Lois begged her.

"No." Chloe shook her head. "Jell-O."

"Oh." Lois paused and a slow smile spread across her face. "I love Jell-O."

* * *

Author's Note: This story was inspired by my very pregnant sister who is thankfully not having twins and my very unpregnant sister in law who surprisngly is the one wtih the 2am Applesauce cravings. Hope you enjoyed!


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